Honestly, I think the most common hindrances to our making changes or achieving our goals is that we are self-defeating.  We often get stuck before we really get started because we’re not convinced we’ll actually get the outcome we want — or we don’t want it badly enough to build the habits that lead there. We quietly ask ourselves, “Is the effort worth it?”  “Will I really get what I want?” The doubt alone can stop progress before it starts.

Ultimately, we face two choices: live with things as they are or decide to do something to change them.

For years, I believed that choosing to “think differently” about myself or my circumstances, meant lowering my standards or lying to myself. My feelings felt real, so I assumed they were also true.  And that became the ‘truth’ I felt I had to live by.

I resisted anything that felt like “positive self‑talk,” because I didn’t want to become someone who just says whatever feels good without something to base it on.  So I tried to make changes from a perspective rooted in “I know the truth,” even though that “truth” was shaped by past failure. The more I pushed from that place, and failed, the more and more I reinforced the very mindset that was holding me back. That’s what Scripture calls a stronghold.

Now I understand something different:

There are many ways to see a situation, and the only “right” one is the one that empowers you to succeed and overcome.

When I don’t trust my own perspective, I ask myself what I’d tell someone else in my situation. I’d never tell another person their value depends on my opinion or their past mistakes— so why would I accept that for myself? I’d never tell someone else, only if they’re perfect, are they any good.  So why would I have that standard for myself?  I have a right; everyone has the right, to believe the same truth about themselves as they would believe for others.  We’re our own worst enemy.  Accepting thinking this way took work, but the possibility felt so freeing.

If a thought doesn’t reinforce your value, and ability to succeed, it’s probably not based in truth. There might be facts, but those don’t determine value.  And you have both the right and the responsibility to let it go.  Scripture says, “As a man thinks, so is he.” Success in any area of life requires an “I can” mindset that sees only a positive outcome.

When we’ve had stinking thinking, we’ll have to make the effort to intentionally shape our perspective toward the goal. This isn’t “mind over matter” — it’s a genuine shift in perspective. You were created to like yourself, enjoy life, and to live with purpose. It takes commitment, but once that shift happens, your actions follow. You gain discipline, then motivation, and eventually momentum. Challenges won’t disappear, but you’ll be empowered to face them more effectively — and that produces better results.

It’s nearly impossible to consistently act differently than you think.  If your thoughts aren’t leading you toward confidence, joy, and possibility, then the mindset itself must change. Feelings are real, but they’re not always true.  Yes, there are things you may not have achieved yet, or things you’ve missed, but beating yourself up will never give you the tools to achieve them in the future.  Scripture says to ‘take every thought captive’ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

This is why aligning your thinking with the Word of God matters. His truth is the only correct standard. He created you, loves you, and designed you with purpose.  You don’t have to judge yourself against anyone else — or some unrealistic standard of your own.  We renew our minds to God’s Word.

Romans 12:2 (NLT) says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

Faith in God’s perspective empowers you to see beyond natural feelings, and gives you a foundation that is steady. Willpower alone can only take you so far, especially when it’s fueled by fear or shame.

So, start by asking:

Is this thought or attitude empowering me or limiting me?  If it’s limiting, it isn’t in line with God’s perspective — and it’s not helping you. You must want success or change enough to commit to this process (judging them against the Word).  Every day, in the face of every challenge that whispers “you can’t change,” “You’re not good enough,” “Things will always be like this,” you choose again. You choose to re‑examine your perspective. You choose to believe something better.  The truth according to the one who created you.  You are God’s workmanship.  Take His word as your new truth!  About yourself and your life.

You matter. You’re loved. And you’re capable of far more than you’ve believed. Choosing to see yourself the way God sees you is the first step toward becoming who you were meant to be.   And accomplishing more than you ever thought possible.

For more on your identity in Christ:  “God’s Word – Our Spiritual Mirror” Article